Gone forever
by AlexRoseRusso
Summary: Would Dimitri to do the same for Rose as she did for him? Rose have been taken and the gang think she is strigoi. It is one-shot so give it a try. Set after LS but no spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**I haven't written VA**

**One-shot**

**Dpov:**

The silence in the room was so thick you could cut in it with a knife. No one dared to utter a word, as we were all lost in our own thoughts. I still wore my guardian face and for once, I cursed myself for it. The only time someone wouldn't blame me and I just couldn't show emotion even through my head were a mess and all I really felt was pain. I don't know why am not crying I just can't and I feel like a bastard because of it. Like I didn't even care.

"She is ... Really gone isn't she?" Christian said breaking the silence. I knew he were right we all did but no one dared to say it. We had returned to the warehouse this morning after another rescue last night. I hadn't seen her fall but when we had went back into the cars she weren't there, I had hoped she had gotten into another car but when the cars stopped and people made their way out I became clear to me that she hadn't made it back. I had spotted Eddie but when he saw my begging expression, he just shook his head sadly. "There were 3 of them." He said and looked down at his feet "I tried but another blocked my way, by the time I finished him of she was gone." That's when It really hit me, she had been taken down. She weren't going to come back mad that we had left her there and a bit proud to be survives once again. She was gone. This morning we searched and searched for hour's trough the many corps but hers were nowhere to be found. I realized how she must have felt when I had been turned under the battle at the academy. Completely useless and empty.

Lissa nodded tears streaking down her face like a river.

"But we can get her back like we did with Dimitri right? We can track her down."

Her words made me nod I agreement and utter a small word that told them I still had hope but deep down I knew we wouldn't find her, but maybe if we were lucky she would find us.

**Rpov**  
A year later…

My body hurt all over, I knew I had several broken bones and a few serious cuts but none of that mattered. Nothing mattered, I just wanted to die. I felt a boot kick me in the side and I barely cared enough to winch. Barely. It were nothing compared to all the other pain I felt right now. A cold hand grabbed my arm and dragged me to my feet.

"Come on pretty dhampir, Alex wants to talk to his special girl." A cold voice mocked me and hit my legs with the chain that where attached to a collar around my neck. My hands were tied together, not unusual but not a common thing either, making me suspect they had planned to take me out of the room I was mostly kept in, last night when Alex's right-hand Ron had been there for another 'breaking'. That is what they called it, he where supposed to break me and make me talk. They wanted to know everything about courts security, about Lissa. They didn't know I had already spilled everything I knew which was actually ridiculously little. I was her guardian. That's it, it was all I knew the rest I never cared enough about to find out and I if I had… the beatings and torture I had went trough so far had not been enough to make me spill it.

When we reached the meeting, room Alex turned around with a smile that looked terrifying with his eyes but I think he were trying to make me comfortable.

"Ahh there she is!" He frowned "I thought I told you to clean her up Ron" Ron where lingering around and looked up at me with a bored expression.

"I thought you meant her mind, bitch still isn't talking." I gritted my teeth, I despised that thing more than any other strigoi I had ever meet! And that did mean a lot!

"Doesn't matter she will be talking today I'll make sure of it." Alex turned back to me and pulled out a chair. He mentioned for me to come forward and held his hand on my lower back.

"Come on my dear sit." I did it couldn't be that bad if he made me sit. He snapped his fingers and a girl came forward one of the human servants following her with a lot of boxes.

"This is Kira, she usually lives in Montana but we snatched her last week." He declared. I took in her horrified expression and torn clothes, there were even bite marks on her neck. "Now here is what going to happen: you are going to make a phone call and say what we tell you to and Kira gets to go home. You refuse and well use some of the things in those boxes on her, you'll know several of them I know Ron have used them on you too." I gulped, the things… knifes, lighters, chains, you name it, even torture weapon for more… private parts. I shuddered. "So what will it be Rosie shall we just start getting to work till you give in… did I mentioned she is pregnant?" He thought I would put up a fight like I used to but why would I? Ron had done a great job breaking me. I shook my head.

"Really? Hmm that where easy, good for Kira then. You are going to pick up that phone and speak like you were one of us okay?" He wanted me to play strigoi? I had heard Dimitri do it and it may be hard but I was pretty sure I could to it. I gave him a nod.

"Good. You are going to speak to you old lover and tell him to meet you tomorrow night okay? Be convincing." They were letting me talk to Dimitri. Really? I were close to ecstatic, Ron holding up a knife to Kira's face cut of my happiness. I had to do this even though I knew hearing me like that would cause Dimitri so much pain. I picked up the phone, the number were already dialed. He picked up at the third ring and I took a deep breath.

"Belikov talking." His voice oh god his voice I had missed it so much! Ron pressed the knife to Kira's face to remind me of what I had to do.

"Hello Dimitri." Oh god I could really sound like that? My own voice gave me the chills.

"Who is this?!" He sounded a bit frantic, did he really not recognize me or did he just hope it weren't me?

"It's Roza Poska." I said making fun of his accent hoping it would make me more convincing.

"ROSE! Where are you?" I wanted to scream at him that he had to come and get me but Ron's look made me stay put.

"Not far don't worry. I want you to meet me Dimitri tomorrow an hour after sunset."

"Why?"

"Because there is something I need to show you." Alex wrote Cheyenne station on a piece of paper besides me. "Cheyenne by the station 19.20 pm. don't be late." I ended the call.

"Good nice job Rosie." Alex praised. "You human take the girl back where you picked her up. Nick take Rose back to her room and ask a servant to look after her. Ron and I won't have time to attend to her for w few days." Nick grabbed my arm and pushed me out the door shutting the door behind us.

Dpov:

I couldn't believe it! It was her! After a whole year we had given up hoping she would contact us. A whole year had shown that she knew me better than I knew her. Better than any of us knew her. She had managed to track me down in Russia the worlds biggest country yet I had no idea where she would have gone to. I doubted she would want to return to Russia. The academy didn't make much sense either, we had searched the entire area around court finding lots of hiding spots for strigoi but still no Rose. Lissa claimed Portland were really just a hiding spot while they were on the run so there went that theory. I were out. I had no idea were she had went and I hated myself for it. I hated myself because I couldn't do for her what she did for me. I couldn't track her down and I couldn't leave Lissa to try. I was failure. Maybe I didn't love her as much as she loved me. Don't get me wrong she were my world and I felt empty without her but all she did for me.. I couldn't give it back and it made me doubt myself.

The whole room had gone quiet the moment I mentioned her name.

"We have her now don't we? We can go there she won't know I am there too and while you distract her I stake her." Lissa said way to eager.

"Hold on Lissa your not going anywhere without an army of guardians but yes. We can send you in another car with a lot of guardians and maybe we can get her." It was to good to be true, we were going to get her back. I could only imagine how much horror she had went through but that where something we had to deal with after she were restored right now we needed to work out our plan.

Rpov:

Nick where chaining me to the bed when I decided to speak.

"I'll need a favor." He grinned at me.

"What makes you think you can ask me a favor?"

"Because I'll do whatever you want in return." Now I had his interest.

"Your sure? What is the favor there is this important to you." I knew what he would ask of me but the important thing right no were just making sure Dimitri knew it was a trap. I knew what they were planning: Lissa would try to restore me and Alex would snap her when they ambushed them.

"I want you to tell them it is a trap." His eyebrow raised.

"How?"

"Stop them before they reach the station tell them to get back."

"You know what that'll cost you right?"

"Yes but I'll do it just warn them please." I begged him. I hadn't begged anyone for anything in all the time I had been here but I did now. He grinned.

"Consider it done." And then it began. He leaned in and pressed me down on the bed tearing my already torn cloth and kissing down my neck before sinking in his fags. The rest where a blur of pain and torture.

Dpov:

We were on our way, Lissa in the back with 6 guardians when something hit our car. I steeped on the break and sprang out to face whatever it was 3 guardians on my tracks. I couldn't see anything when I heard a scream from behind. Turning around as light stake ready I saw a strigoi with a female guardian by her neck, she were struggling but he held a firm grip.

"I wouldn't do that Dhampir." He grinned.

"Why are you still holding her?" He would have just killed her and went for the princess right?

"Because I have a message for you Dhampir; Rose won't be waiting for you at the station. She knows about the Princess. They know about the princess." And with that he was gone leaving the female guardian gasping on the ground.

"What the hell did that mean?"

"You heard him." A guardian said. "They know. It is warning we are being ambushed, let's get back!"

"NO why would he warn us?"

Another spoke up. "Rose won't be there. She must have sent him you know what that could mean?" A chill went down my spin.

"That Rosemary Hathaway may still be among the living." The female said in a dark tone. FUCK! We had been looking for the wrong signs all along! Instead of torturing strigoi for information on a dark haired newly changed we should have tried to locate their houses. My poor Roza what haven't she went trough? Don't worry we will find you my dear.

Rpov:

2 painful days had went by where I hadn't done much except try to sleep through my hell. I was successful only to be awoken by a wet feeling on my thighs.

"Don't move I am washing of the blood before I give you the pants on." It was one of the servants. I had seen him many times before cute; dark hair, hazel eyes, tall and muscles.

"Why do they even bother with cloth?" I groaned.

"Isn't it because you passed? They see you as an equal so you get cloth. When the changing is done they don't want you to be angry with them." What?

"Passed what?" He looked at me speculative.

"The testing. You earned immortality haven't you?" I forgot humans: they wanted to be strigoi.

"Why on earth would you think that?" He seemed unsure suddenly not sure if he should continue.

"it's just… they never do this" he gestured to my body. "They usually just beat and cut you."

"Yeah I am their captive that's what they do."

"So you are not becoming like them? Don't you want to?" ahh humans…

"God no I know it may seem weird to you but I have not intentions of becoming a soulless monster."

"That actually doesn't sound weird at all." Wait that didn't add up…

"It doesn't? Haven't you worked hard all your life to accomplish it?" He shook his head.

"I tried to be with the girl I loved she was turned said if I worked hard I could join her." Another sad soul encaged by love and false promises.

"No one actually gets changed sorry to break it to you but your girl don't you want to be with her anymore?" I raised and eyebrow.

"She was staked a month ago, now I just want to get out of here but that isn't exactly easy." So he was here by force… interesting.

"Why are you telling me this?" He looked up at me and gave me a small smile after pulling up the pants around my butt damn him I could do that myself… if my hands weren't still tied..

"They say you used to be a pretty badass guardian." I smiled so that's why his telling me he wants help to break out… this might be my key to escape.

"You see those tubes over there?" I nodded in direction of the corner of the room. He nodded. "They have some exactly like those in the guardian's gym at court." He grinned.

"I knew you were still pretty badass. Can you run?" my sore body would make it absolutely painful but I COULD move and if I could move I could run.

"Always. Will you help me?"

"If you promise to take me with you and maybe teach me a few tricks." I couldn't help it I laughed.

"I'll train you to be better than most guardians if you get me out of here!" he smiled.

"Deal." I turned dead serious.

"I need a stake can you get me one?" he nodded

"Alex and Ron are out till tomorrow it is still early if we run now we can get far before sunset, I'll pick up the stake and come back here."

"Nick?"

"Didn't come back from hunt last night probably got stuck somewhere and is waiting for sunset." So house was close to empty..

"Hurry don't get spotted."

An half hour later he were back with a pair of shoes and a stake.

"I hope they fit." I slipped them on, a bit tight but I would manage.

"They're fine let's go." WE hurried trough the halls as quiet as possible almost by the door when a strigoi appeared. I had seen him a few times but didn't know his name, we didn't do much chatter as I staked him before he really realized what where going on. We burst trough the door and into the sunshine. It hurt my eyes as I hadn't seen it in a year. We had to move quickly. I ran to the nearest car, which luckily were open and put together the wires like Dimitri taught me while we were on the run.

"Now we just need to get as far as possible," I told him.

4 hours later we were out of gas. The rid had been tense at first but then we had decided to get to know each other, he were 23 and educated as a doctor and his name were Mike. Smart guy… I stood in the telephone both with a dollar I had been given by a friendly man at the gas station where we had held in and called the only number I knew by heart.

"Hey you can probably trace the number. I need a lift to court for me and a friend can you pick us up?"

She could an hour later her car pulled up and she stood out. Her hair were longer than I remembered but her fragile frame where all the same.

"Is that really you?" She half whispered. I grinned. I couldn't believe I were standing here either it had almost been to easy.

"The one and only with side kick." I nodded towards Mike.

"Who is he?" She asked suspiciously. I shrugged

"No idea I don't ask people who they are I take help when it is offered to me and he volunteered."

She seemed uneasy.

"He is human?" I offered and she laughed then stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. I was honestly surprised that she dared hug an evil creature of the night.. or at least a half breed.

"It is so good to see you alive.," she said then got back behind the wheel. "Get in we have a long way ahead of us." I smiled and got in the front seat Mike in the back. Finally, I felt safe.

**Dpov**

It had been days since our attempt to get Rose back and we were still trying to figure it out. There were just so much there didn't add up. I heard her! No one could fake that voice but why did she warn us? I couldn't help but feel as if we had missed out on the only chance we had finding Rose.

Hans were sitting there along with Janine and a few other high-ranking guardians. Lissa were there to but she wasn't given the chance to speak. Rose had been one of the best loosing a guardian like her had been hard for him too. Suddenly his phone rang.

"Hans speaking." "Alchemist.. What is her errand?" the blood drained from his face "Okay let them trough." He said in a shaking voice and ended the call. He looked at us with a clear change in his mood. "An alchemist just drove through the front gate with a dhampir and a human, they are going to the infirmary I am going to check in on it anyone who might want to come are welcome we won't be continuing this before they are identified." Having nothing better to do we all followed.

Hans went to the front desk "I am looking for a human and a dhampir who just got in." The nurse looked at the screen and taped a few things. "The human has been looked upon by a doctor but doesn't seem to have any injuries. The dhampir has also been looked upon and is being medicated but future treatment is not necessary at this point. She has lots of bruises and several cuts some more dangerous than others. They're in room 110 with an alchemist." Hans had already started hurrying down the hall. Why was he so busy? Room 90, 92, 94, 96, corner, 104, 106, 108 and there she was. Leaning lazily against the windows frame looking at us with a smug expression.

"Finally! Please tell me you are here to get me out of this place?" Hans gaped at her, we couldn't believe it she were here! "Take a picture it'll last longer." That shock Hans out of his haze.

"Rose? How?" She picked at her nails "Long story maybe another time." He shook his head "No we are talking this over now including who he is." He gestured to the human.

"Rose doesn't asks question she takes help when it is offered." Sydney spoke for the first time I noticed her.

"Aha? Well then let's start with where you've been for the past year?" She turned sad and I took in her appearance: old blood stained jeans, ripped t-shirt that exposed her bruises to the world. Her face was bruised but not swelled, several cuts made their way down her arms some of them looked like they might have spelled something but stained blood made it blurred. She looked like a corps, her beautiful eyes weren't shining like they used to, dark ghosts were hidden in them.

"I've been in Colorado some basement frequently visited by different strigoi." She said blank face.

"When did you escape?"

"Eight hours ago."

"Have you given them any kind of information while being in the captivity?"

"No. Nothing they didn't already knew." He nodded satisfied with her answer.

"Did you plan the set up?"

"No"

"Why did you agree to make the call and convincing guardian Belikov you were strigoi?" I liked to know the answer on that too.

"They treated a moroi I couldn't let her get hurt." Really? Always protecting others…

"Did you send the warning about an ambush?" Her jaw clenched.

"Yes." So it was her. Why did she seem angry? She saved Lissa like she promised she always would.

"How?" She squeezed her eyes.

"I paid the price. I don't see why this is relevant?"

"It is relevant as to whatever you'll be allowed back as a guardian." They were taking her title? Why she hadn't done anything wrong?

"Okay then but now you know if you will excuse me I would like to get a shower somewhere?" Hans nodded.

"A guardian will take you to your room. We'll take care of anything you need till you're back on your feet." She nodded and stood up.

"Thank you."

"Guardian Hathaway will you please find a room and some clothes for Miss Hathaway?" Janine nodded and lead Rose out of the room. She walked past me not even giving me a second glance. Hadn't she missed me at all? Hans turned his attention to the human.

"I am assuming you helped her escape but we don't know if you can be trusted, you'll be housed in a guestroom until further questioning will take place do you have any plans for the future?" The human shook his head. "I haven't thought it trough but I am staying near Rose she promised to teach me if I helped her out."

"Teach you?" Hans asked and raised an eyebrow. I was also confused. "Yes to fight so that I'll be able to defend myself." Hans nodded "Very well I am sure miss Hathaway will keep that promise when she is back till then guardian Belikov will escort you to your room, you to miss sage." Sydney nodded and followed us out. She walked beside me the human trailing behind us.

"How did you find her?" I asked her "I didn't she called me at a gas station and asked me to pick her up." I gave her a side-glance "How do you think she'll manage?" She shook her head. "I am not sure she has been through a lot even though she is trying to put up a brave face she is hurt, badly. She'll need time Dimitri but she'll come back to you don't worry." "How do you know? She won't even look at me as it is now." "No but she wouldn't shut up about you on the way back: is Dimitri this, has Dimitri that, do you think Dimitri blab la bla. She loves you she just needs time to think these events over and.." "And what?" "And she thinks you're ashamed of her. Because she wasn't stronger than that or fought harder, because she made that call." My Roza really thought I would be ashamed of her because of something she had no control over? Silly yet Sydney were right: Rose would need her time and I just had to wait until she would open up to me. "So what do I do now?" she shrugged "Keep you distance. Smile to her but don't make a move till she does." I nodded deep in thought then turned my head to look at the human. "She mentioned a price for the warning she sent us you know what she were talking about?" he nodded "And?" he shook his head "Not my place to tell the girls right giver some time she went through more than you can imagine." "I won't be able to if no one tells me." He just shook his head again. "There were a strigoi Nick… Never mention him around her again." Nick? How had this bastard hurt my Roza? I was getting frustrated with this but I knew I wouldn't get answers before Rose started to talk … if she ever would.

**The end.. I have an idea for another ending.. do you want to know what'll happen next or should we just close it here?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I haven't written VA. You asked for an ending here it is! **

**R Pov**

I watched as he closed and locked his door. His slender yet muscular form were dressed in tight grey jeans and a white button up with an open vest above. I hadn't seen him for so long yet it felt just like yesterday. He were lost in his own thoughts and hadn't noticed me at all till he turned around. He looked startled but soon regained his usual face expression.

"Rose what are you doing here?" His voice were both soft and hard at the same time. No doubt he knew what I had gone through but still my presence were not expected and I didn't bring him all good memories either.

"I needed a party I figured you were the man I needed." My voice were raspy like I hadn't had water in a long time. It had been silly of me to come here, he had had to have moved on with his life.

"You know what? Never mind I don't know what I was thinking you probably have better things to do." I turned to walk away but he stopped me.

"Rose wait." I stopped and looked at me from over my shoulder an eyebrow raised. "What are you wearing?!" My outfit were so not what I usually wore.. well back when I wore cloth. I was an emerald green party dress showing of a great deal of my breasts but not tight fitting around the stomach and ass. There were a black shining belt under my breast drawing attention to the low cut. My hair was curled in big lose curls and some were pinned up so it looked ticker, shreds of glimmer were set in. Around my neck a big clear crystal hang and my earrings were glimmering. The high black, shining hells didn't make the look more decent. I looked at my shoes and wavered a bit with the black clutch.

"Something supposed to be a club outfit… I don't know I am just.. sorry I shouldn't have come." I turned again to leave but this time he stopped me by grapping my hand. I looked into his big concerned, green eyes which my dress matched perfectly and thought about how could I never had fallen in love with this man? He was gorgeous.

"Come on. I was going out anyway you might as well tag along." His soft words worked like a spell on me and my feet carried me away without me even realizing.

2 hours later I was on the dancefloor sandwiched between 2 handsome tall moroi guys.

"Rose!" Adrian was making his way to me trying to get my attention over the loud music. My attention were soon taken away by one of the two gridding his belt against my back.

"Rose it's time to go." He said looking very inpatient.

"Is that your boyfriend?" the other whispered in my ear and I shook my head making my hair wave behind me.

"Rose?" I looked at him lazily my head heavy with alcohol. I raised an eyebrow silently asking him why he was interrupting my fun.

"It is almost morning." I turned back my attention to the guys and gave the one facing me a wink before slipping out from them and grapping Adrian's arm letting him lead me out of the club.

"I was having fun you know." He placed his arm around my waist and hailed a cab. We were a long way from either of our apartments and I was too drunk to walk probably.

"I know that's why we are going home now." He said getting me into the car. I frowned but when the car started moving, I got too tired to protest and just laid my head on his shoulder.

"Rose?" I groaned tiredly.

"I am curious. You just got back from a year of torture and you go clubbing?" I just wanted to sleep why so big questions?

"I've been held captive for a year Adrian. I just wanna have fun while I can."

"What does Dimitri think?" I sighed and moved away from his shoulder.

"I haven't talked to him yet." Adrian's hand wrapped around my shoulder pulling me into him again.

"Why not?" It was a question I had asked myself many times yet I still didn't really have an answer. When I laid alone in my cold cell at night I would dream of him, beg for him to be there. To wrap his strong loving arms around me and held me tight. For him to save me and keep me safe. Yet here I was back in court and I hadn't even looked at him yet. I sighed.

"He wouldn't understand." I felt his hand stroking my hair.

"Why don't you think he would?"

"Because I don't even understand it! God damn it you have no idea what they did to me!" his hand tangled my hair around his fingers.

"Then tell me." I sighed and buried my face in his shoulder.

"I don't want to remember Adrian I just want to LIVE"

"and you will but you'll be living with it." His voice were low so the driver wouldn't hear our conversation.

"They kept me locked away Adrian. Most of the time I were in that room alone and that where the worst torture; laying there imagining all the things they would do to me when they got back. Feeling the cold stone against my skin sometimes when I woke up it where impossible to tell if I where in their grip or still laying on the floor. I wanted to die Adrian. I wanted to die I would have done anything to just end it. I would have strangled myself in my own clothes if they had given me any. They didn't. The physical torture weren't the worst, it was the things they made me see. They made me believe it were real." My voice were still strong but quiet and it didn't wavered but I were on the edge of bursting into sobs and tears.

"Believe what where real Rose?"

"IT. Lissa, Christian Eddie, Dimitri even you Adrian they made me believe you were real." It didn't draw on him what I meant. I knew he wouldn't understand the length they had gone to to break me down.

"Rose?" His voice were upset but still not sure. He had figured something out but he wasn't sure if he were right and he didn't dare to speak his theory to see if he was.

"What did WE do?" I took in a deep breath my voice finally breaking into a high pitch tone.

"Things they didn't even dare to do." He were still holding his breath realizing he were right.

"What about the physical torture?" he finally said trying to break me out of my flashbacks.

"Nothing you wouldn't have guessed. They hang me up by the wall and used different weapons, sometimes they experimented on me. But I can handle that." He shook his head.

"You shouldn't. You need to talk to someone Rose. Talk with Hans I doubt he will deny you help if you ask for it."

"I don't want to ask him for anything."

"I know Rose but you are in a vulnerable situation no one judges you." I just groaned into his jacket me sleepiness finally taking over only to be pulled out of the cab by Adrian who threw a bill at the driver and walked into the building with me under his arm half supporting me. The door attendant sent us a weird look but didn't say anything. Moroi men walking in with close to unconscious Dahmpir women were not a rare sight. Adrian Ivashkov walking in with a close to unconscious Rosemary Hathaway however were out of the usual. Rumors were going to be all over court tomorrow but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Wearing my hair up to show the lack of bite-marks would be a great place to start, unfortunately I had several old scars from previous bites that were close to healed but still not something I wanted to show of. I don't remember much other than dumping face first into Adrian's bed and his hands undoing the straps of my hells.

Next morning I woke up feeling a warm arm around my waist and for a minute, I thought maybe it had all been a dream. Maybe it were just a nightmare and when I opened my eyes I would be looking into Dimitri's peaceful face and it would be all over. However, when I opened my eyes I were looking straight into Adrian's furrowed eyebrows. He were moaning and stirring mouth mumbling some groggy nonsense. Obviously, he weren't having a good dream. I scooted in closer hopping the physical contact would help on his nightmare. He stirred and grabbed my waist tighter but didn't wake up.

An hour later, I was still laying there watching him sleep. His face had lessened and he now slept peacefully. I slipped out from beneath his arm and went to the bathroom stripping of my dress and steeping into his shower. The hot water hit my alcohol stinking body and washed away spilled drinks and sweat like a river flowing over dry fields. I studied the etiquette on the products lined up. The shampoo were written on French but it looked so incredibly expensive I bet there were virgin blood in there! Stepping out I wrapped a long soft towel around my body and a smaller around my hair ruffling it and trying to dry it then ran my fingers through it so it didn't dry in weird angles. I went back into the bedroom where Adrian was still sleeping. I graphed a long shirt from the closet and pulled on my stockings from last night, stopping my dress into my bag. I graphed a belt and tied it in by my waist so I looked feminine then turned to the full length mirror. I looked hot in the 'just had the best sex ever' kind of way and hoped I wouldn't run into anyone I knew on my way back. I left a note on the pillow saying.

_Thanks I really needed a party._ Then headed out the door.

Outside the rain was purring down soaking me completely. I didn't hurry just scooted further into myself. The world was crazy, it held so much pleasure yet so much pain. Sometimes at the same time you could get consumed by both. I felt ruined yet alive simply because I felt. I hadn't felt rain in a year, I hadn't felt the wind, I hadn't felt anything but what they let me feel.

A dark figure hit me from the side making me stumble and hit the ground with one knee soaking the stockings further in dirt and rainwater.

"Sorry" He mumbled taking my arm to lift me bushing wet hair out of his face with his other hand, I looked up to tell him never mind.

"Dimitri." He looked as gorgeous as ever standing there in the purring rain looking as astonished as I felt.

"Rose." He just looked at me like he hadn't seen me in 20 years. The rain hitting my eyelashes making me flinch broke the spell.

"Come on lets get you indoor." He said taking my wrist making me flinch a little but luckily he didn't notice. He lead me through curt stopping for a moment before deciding his apartment was the closest. The foyer wasn't overheated but still offered some warm when we hurried inside shaking. He looked at me with his mild warm chocolate brown eyes, taking in my soaked form.

"Do you want to come in?" I nodded and he took my wrist again leading my into the elevator and down the hall in silence. Once inside his apartment he dropped my wrist to remove his coat then went to take mine only to realize I wasn't wearing one. His eyes took in the man shirt that were clinging to my body… and my naked breasts.

"Is that Adrian's shirt?" I just nodded, I didn't want to try and explain to him nothing happened and I wasn't even sure what I wanted him to think. Since I got back we had been nothing to each other and for some reason I like to keep it that way.

"I didn't know you two were seeing each other." He tried to sound neutral but the hurt rang clear in his voice and I felt bad for a short moment. Only a moment before I pushed the feeling aside.

"We aren't." came my short brilliant response. His raised eyebrow confirmed my answer had been more than just unclear. "I.. he took me out clubbing last night and I slept over, I left before he woke up but my dress smell like an old alcoholic." I blabbed out, trying not to care but the words came out clumsy like I was self-conscious. He just nodded and I think I saw the corner of his mouth turn up. Wonderful he thought I was cute…

"Do you want some hot coco?" I nodded not trusting myself enough to open my mouth again. He started boiling water then looked back at me and his positure fell like he was about to slap himself.

"Do you want to change into something dry?" I shook my head not wanting to use his hospitality more than needed. He shook his head at me and looked at me disapproving.

"You are going to get sick if you don't get out of that wet shirt." He brushed past me and I followed him quietly into the bedroom of the apartment we had once shared. Everything stood as it used to, even the bed was made with the fluffy pillows I had picked out much to his distaste.

"All of your stuff was ehm.. removed after.. so the only thing I got is one of my shirts." I nodded feeling a bit sad for all of my clothes.

"I know Lissa told me that she forced you so that you could – could move on. It is okay trough I think I've shown I don't mind wearing men's clothes." I tried to joke but I couldn't even smile myself. The thought of him throwing out my stuff to remove me from his life tore my heart to pieces. He just nodded sully and went back out into the kitchen to get the chocolate and I used the opportunity to change. The change was fast so I had a few moments to look around, seeing if there was something changed and more importantly check for any signs of a woman in his life. I found none and went to the window instead looking down at the street. I used to sit in the windowsill and watch the people on the street below with a slight smile at their hurry. Today it just made me face darken as the street laid empty, reminding me of how much had changed since I was taken. I heard footsteps in the room and turned to see Dimitri watching me with a sad look in his eyes and two mugs in his hands.

"Here." He said handing one to me placing the other on the dresser. I lifted it to inhale the comfy smell before placing it on the bedtable behind me.

"How have you been?" He asked in a gentle voice. I shrugged not really knowing the answer.

"Could always have been better, how about you?" He shrugged.

"Fine." We fell into silence none of us knowing what to say.

"Are you talking to Lissa again?" His question surprised me but I don't know why. After I had come back she had tried to go back to being my best friend but hadn't really been talkative. In the end I started avoiding her, never really spending time with anyone but Mike.

"Sometimes." He nodded understanding. Then he sighed and sat on the bed head in his hands. I didn't know what to do so I just slowly sat down in front of him not touching him.

"I don't know what to do Rose, I really just don't know. I have wanted to take you into my arms and never let you go ever since you returned but I am so afraid that I will only hurt you more." I placed my hands in my lap and looked at the floor not saying anything.

"I can't even start to imagine what you have gone through, but I WANT to understand Rose. I want to be there for you I really do if you would just let me-" I interrupted him by placing my lips on his. His eyes closed immediately and he gently placed his hands on my arms, careful not to frighten me. Slowly he leaned back on the bed and we disappeared in the sheets.

I laid awake and watched him sleep. It wasn't night and he hadn't meant to but I guess with the activities we did and the fact that he was returning from a shift at the gates when he ran into me had taken its tool on him. He had fallen asleep underneath me and I now laid beside him listening to the sound of his heavy breath wondering what would become of us now. A few hours ago he had me screaming in a state in-between pleasure and terror. He ofcurse didn't notice the last and for that I was glad.

Maybe we could work out, if he really did love me still then maybe we could work out together. I needed time but maybe we could erase all the bad memories and replace them with cherished ones. His phone buzzed and interrupted my trail of thoughts. The screen lit _Emily – hey when would you pick me up for dinner?_ Ofcurse, I was so incredibly stupid. Selfish too, how could I even think of bringing him down, putting the burden of my misery on him when he had so many options of moving on.

I slipped out of bed, threw on Adrian's now damp shirt and headed out. My life was over and I knew it, I might be back but I will never be able to fully return to my old life.

Dpov

I woke up confused but then started smiling like an idiot remembering what happened this afternoon. Turning over I frowned seeing the empty spot beside me. Was I having wet dreams again? Well judging on the weather I'd say yes. I picked up the pillow and let the long dark hair confirm that she really had been here, but then were was she now? I picked up my phone to see if she had texted me telling me where she went but the only thing showing was 3 messages from Tasha all asking about our dinner date tonight. Fuck. I didn't know if she had seen them but why else would she be gone. I ran a hand over my face. Why did things always fuck up for me like this? I could try and find her to explain but what good would that do? She probably wouldn't believe me anyway. I sighed and texted Emily that we should meet at the restaurant. She was a good friend and had been really supportive when we lost Rose but I couldn't bring myself to move on when I believed we still might have a slight chance at getting Rose back. And we did but why did it still feel as if we lost her? I sighed and picked up my shirt deciding I might as well get dressed.

Rpov – weeks later

"So what do you think is the problem?" The therapist patiently asked me as I paced in her office. She had given up on getting me to sit down three sessions ago. Adrian had been right, Hans hadn't even tried to deny me therapy but instead almost thrown it at me. My therapist was an elder moroi in her thirties with graying blond hair pinned back and kind, wise blue eyes. I actually liked her but I still tried to fight the therapy. I wanted it but I didn't want her to mess with my head more than others already had.

"Isn't that what I hired you to find out?" I growled at her. We had been going at this for almost an hour and I just had to keep her off for 5 more minutes then I could get out. She just folded her hands and looked at me expectantly. I sighed throwing my hands up.

"I don't know maybe it is because I was held captive and tortured mentally and physically for A YEAR!" She still just looked at me and I finally gave up and slid down the door looking at an invisible spot on the floor.

"I just … I can't move on from it when I still see their faces everywhere." She turned her head to the side seeing she finally got a little piece of information out of me.

"The strigoi?" she asked naïve. I shook my head and felt a tear forming at my left eye.

"The others. My … my friends, I see… I see what the strigoi made me see."

"What did they make you see?" I shook my head not wanting to remember

"Terrible things, you wouldn't be able to handle it if I told you. I wasn't able to handle it." I felt her mild eyes on me.

"I've handled a lot of bad things Rose." I shook my head.

"Nothing like this." I whispered.

She sighed and closed her file – my file.

"I think that is it for today. I've sent a receipt for your sleeping pills to the drugstore, they are stronger than the ones you're used to but hopefully they will help you sleep without nightmares." I nodded and pulled myself up taking my coat from the chair mumbling my thanks before I was out the door.

Dpov

I hadn't seen Rose since that afternoon 3 weeks ago. I realize now how she must have felt when I refused to see her after I was turned back. She had avoided me whenever I tried to talk to her. I only got updates on her trough Lissa and those were limited. Rose tried but we could all sense the distance that had formed between the former BFF's. She had her title back but wasn't assigned yet. Ofcourse Lissa wanted to request her but she wasn't sure if Rose actually wanted to be Lissa's guardian. I wasn't either but truth is I would do anything to get her back with me. We just found her but she was only slipping further out of our grasp.

Rpov – Weeks later

The tv was on, _pretty little liars _running while I was tapping on the computer, a cup of hot chocolate on the table when it knocked on the door. I placed the computer down and stood, flattening my short skirt before opening. Out there Adrian Ivashkov himself stood with a charming smile and a flower bouquet. I leaned against the door frame smiling at him amused.

"what do you think your doing Adrian?" He smiled at me and handed me the bouquet.

"Well taking you out ofcourse what else?"

"Why?" I was almost laughing at his absurd behavior.

"Because little dhampir, in the almost 2 months you have been back no one else have thought of doing it, so I decided it would mean I get the honor." I shook my head at him then took in his suit. Looking down at my own attire I decided the flower skirt and high neck turquoise without sleeves would do.

"Okay just please let me place these in some water and get my coat." He nodded and I closed the door, quickly finding a vase then slipping my feet into a pair of high hells, checking myself in mirror, slipping on some pink lip gloss then grapping my short princess trench coat and opening to meet him.

"You look great." I smiled and blushed slightly looking at my feet muttering a thank you. I know it was very unlike me but it had been over a year since the last time someone complimented me.

"you too." He smiled and held his arm out for me, which I took.

"So where are you taking me?" I asked him as he took me through the foyer. The receptionist were starring but I brushed her off.

"It is a surprise." he said mysteriously.

"Okay.." I gave him a look then caught glimpse of the impressive car in front of us.

"Is that-?" he nodded grinning at my reaction

"Yes it is. Aston Martin DB 6 champagne coloured. I talked to Eddie he said you always had a crush on it." I laughed.

"True but I am impressed he remembered, how is he btw?" I felt his arm on my back while I stood admirering the car, running my fingers over the blank surface.

"He is fine, he was worried about you but relived that we found you again. He is working in LA at the moment." He opened the door for me and I slipped in still astonished by the car. We made small talk on the drive. He let my decide the music and I landed on rock. Turns out we had the same taste in music. He took me to a fancy restaurant no surprise. We ate in a garden there was decorated with lights and tons of flowers. Tables where spread all over in different levels offering the guests some privacy. I think he ate here often because the waiters swarmed around us, talking nicely to him, complimenting me and gave us amazing service before giving us privacy.

"Sorry, it is the first time I brought a girl here so they are curious." He said after our food arrived. I was in the middle of putting a bite of the steaming hot steak in my mouth but stopped to look at him surprised. He never brought a girl here? Huh…

"It is okay, you come here often?" He nodded sinking a bit of his own steak.

"yes whit my family and friends of the family."

"There is a lot of formality in that isn't there?" He nodded and looked into my eyes with a sly smile.

"Yes but there are advantages about that, the suits are lady killers." I couldn't help it I burst out laughing at his overdone wink.

"Yes I believe they are! How about you family? You got any cousins around your age?" He sent me a seductive stare.

"Already looking for a replacement?" I laughed again, I did that a lot in his presence.

"Yes I do, 3: Kendall he is 25, then there is Josh he is 24 and Steph also 25 I like to consider them my "gang" Ig giggled

"sounds great." I tilted his head.

"You don't have a lot of family do you?" I shook my head.

"Lissa is the most I got, and then my parents but they don't really count." I looked down at my meal again.

"I should introduce you to my cousins, both female and the gang. Steph is married and Kendall has a girlfriend but that is on and off." I pursed my lips

"You would do that?" He looked up at me with a grin.

"Ofcourse! I think you would be great friends." I smiled down at my plate and we small talked some more. We ended up sharing desert then he paid and the waiters wished us a good evening. He took me out to a park and took off his shirt for us to sit on.

"The sun is beautiful." He stated and I nodded then turned my face to look at him.

"Doesn't it bother you?" He shook his head and looked at me with lazy eyes.

"A little but nothing I can't handle." I smiled at him and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"I miss the sun." He gently petted my arm.

"I know."

Dpov – a few days later.

I was guarding the wards keeping an eye out for any signs of breaks. Then the guard at the front gate called.

"Belikov there is a man here – dhampir I think – he wants to be let in, insisting that he needs to talk to Rosemary Hathaway." Roza? Why would this man need to speak to Roza?

"Then let him in? Call guardian croft if you are unsure."

"No I need you to get over here and check him."

"Why me?"

"Because.. he claims he is a former strigoi." Oh shit!

"I am here." I said in a harsh tone to the guardian stand as I jogged in.

"Wonderful he is in here." The guardian told be opening the door into the little house they normally had lunch in. Inside a man in his late twenties sat nervously trembling and playing with his fingers. It was the man who had warned us that night.. Only back then he had been strigoi. I walked in keeping my guardian face in place and tried to be as intimidating as possible, not that hard.

"I am guardian Dimitri Belikov please inform your name and the reason as to why you are here." He looked up and followed me until I stood in front of him.

"I am Nick Johnson; I am here to talk to Rosemary Hathaway." Nick.. Oh no this wasn't good.

"I am sorry but I don't think that will be possible anytime soon. Now the guardian told me you claimed to be-"

"Please let me see her! I need to.. Need to try and make it up to her. Please you have no idea what I did to her!" He practically begged me. I sighed.

"The guard said you believe you are restored?"

"Yes I am, I was a strigoi until a few days ago."

"I am sorry if I am finding all of this hard to believe but to be restored you'll need to be staked by a spirit user." He nodded not seeming upset about my doubt.

"And I was. His name was Robert, Robert Doru. Very confused man, the only reason he staked me was because I surprised him, he kept mumbling about his brother and a Rose Hathaway and that is when he caught my interest."

"So he gave you the directions here?" he shook his head.

"No I figured that part out, I am a former guardian you see and I thought: where would I go if had escaped from a year captive by strigoi? Truth is I would go home, crying to my mama but Rose is different… anyway I just you know.. figured." He was babbling so I interrupted him.

"I understand the position you are in but I am afraid that we can't let you near Rose or anyone till further … testing has been done, and then we need to inform her before letting you see her." He nodded and looked down ashamed.

"I understand." This was not good…

* * *

**Okay maybe not an ending... or what do you think? Sorry if the romance took over but you have to admit they would be a cute couple! rodrian or romitri? **


	3. Chapter 3

**I haven't written VA. **

**R Pov**

"You're not pushing hard enough!" Mike had been lashing at the dolls for fifteen minutes but still hadn't gotten the stake far enough to stake through the heart.

"Let me use both hands!" He yelled getting frustrated.

"No you need to be able to do it with one, you're a big boy you can do it."

"You make it look so easy!" I chuckled, this reminded me of my sessions with Dimitri. .. Dimitri.

"Put all of you weight behind it! Right now it looks like you stabbing a pillow." He made a few bad attempts before I grew tired and moved up behind him taking the stake from his hand.

"Here look it is like this." I made the move slowly letting him observe then I repeated in the speed he needed to learn it, lashing forward and placing the stake deep into the doll. I heard a slight sound from the door and turned to face the intruder. It was a guard, I didn't know his name but he looked slightly impressed. When he noticed I was looking he placed his mask on and gave me a slight bow that guardians gave when they were addressing someone formally.

"Rosemary Hathaway your presence is required at the prison cells." The cells?

"What is it about." My voice came out harsher than I meant and the guard looked taken aback for a minute.

"I don't know, they didn't say." I sighed and looked at Mike then at the guardian.

"Can he come?" the guard looked hesitant but didn't want to deny me.

"I was told to get you miss." It was a way of saying 'you only' but I was going to use the wary formulation to my advantage.

"So you weren't told no one else could come. Mike do you mind?" Mike shook his head and we followed the uneasy guard. Hans meet us at the door.

"Rose thank you for coming down so fast."

"No problem guardian Craft what is it about?" He sighed and looked regretful for a moment.

"I am really sorry to do this Rose, but we never formally questioned you about your time.. away. I didn't thought it would be necessary but something showed up.." He had lead us to the rooms where criminals were questioned and I figured this would just be a couple of questions. Nothing could have prepared me for what meet me inside the room and if not for Mike's grip on my elbow I might have fallen.

DPOV

We were waiting impatiently; Nick was squeezing his own hands as he sat there handcuffed to the table. Suddenly the door opened and Hans came in with Rose after him. First her eyes fell on me, they showed so many feelings, then they quickly feel on Nick and her expression changed. She took a steep back, her face was masked in fear and she looked like she might faint. Mike was behind her and quickly grabbed her elbow. A shot of jealousy ran through me and I imidiently cursed myself. I knew they weren't romantic but it had been weeks since we had talked and she was using almost all of her time training him. Hans had decided she wouldn't be put into service before her therapist had declared her stable and from what I heard there was a long way before that happened.

She regained herself and looked at Nick with pure hatred.

"What is he doing here!" We weren't sure if it was a question to be answered but another guard that had been watching Nick with me spoke up.

"He came to the front gates two weeks ago claiming he had been restored and demanding to see you. As you can guess we have been trying to keep you away and figure out if his story is to be believed, but we have no choice then to ask you." Hans cleared his throat.

"Yes Rose that is why you are here if you would please take a seat?" She sat hesitantly glaring at us all. Hans looked at us wary then started the questioning.

"Rose have you seen this man before?" She sent him an 'are you fucking kidding me look' and he gave her a 'just answer the question' back.

"Yes." Her voice was dripping with annoyance and disgust.

"Were he indeed strigoi the last time you saw him?"

"Yes." Hans nodded.

"Can you tell us anything about his rang and his role in your … capture." She glared at Nick than spat the words at him.

"He was lower ranging, a minion to the big guns. He was keeping an eye on me when they were busy but he wasn't calling the shots on anything." Hans nodded and a guard scribbled it down. This didn't make sense if he wasn't the leader then why did she hate him so much?

"Was he the strigoi you sent to warn guardian Belikov and the others about the ambush?" her jaw clenched.

"Yes." Hans turned to Nick leaving Rose alone.

"Do you recognize these two as captives?" Nick shook his head.

"Mike wasn't a captive, he was a servant. " Hans eyes darkened at this new information and he turned his glare to Mike about to say something probably arrest him for threesome when Rose shot him a daring glare. He turned back to Nick.

"Why would Mike return to the court with Rose if he wasn't a captive?" Nick shrugged.

"He was never really dedicated, I think his girl got staked or something." Hans nodded then moved on to the next topic.

"Why did you agree to help Rose send a warning?" Rose were looking at the floor and Mike was discretely holding her hand looking at her with concerned eyes.

"Because she gave me something in return, something I wanted badly at the time." We all exchanged confused looks.

"And what could you have wanted so badly you were willing to betray you own." Nick swallowed and looked in the table. Rose were clutching Mike's hand tightly, all colour had drained from her face.

"Her." Nick's voice were faint like a whisper.

"I am afraid I don't understand." Hans said looking as confused as I felt. Nick seemed to get smaller and whimpered in a barely hearable voice.

"I wanted her, her body. I- I raped her." After that it felt as if the world had narrowed down. Rose pushed back her chair so it flipped over and ran out the door. Mike looked lost. I launched out at Nick ready to snap his neck for what he had done to Rose, while the other guard tried to hold me back. Nick screamed and when I saw him over the guards shoulder; his nose were bleeding and Hans stood over him with his knuckles covered in blood.

Rpov

"Hey are you okay?" Mike sat down beside me on the grass. I laughed but the sound was broken. I whipped away a tear.

"No?" he smiled sadly.

"Did you know?" I asked him with shaking voice.

"About Nick being here?" I nodded feeling something in my throat that made me unsure of my voice.

"No." Well at least he hadn't kept it from me…

"Rose?" I knew he was looking at me but I was busy hiding behind my knees.

"hmm?"

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head.

"Do you want to be alone?" I thought about it but I didn't feel like being alone so I shook my head again.

"Then what do you want?" the question wasn't as inpatient as it sounded he was just trying to help.

"A hug?" my voice was completely broken and when he wrapped his arms around me I broke down in tears, crying my heart out. I cried for all the things that had happened to me in the past year and for all the things that where yet to come. Mike didn't say anything, he just held me while I wept.

Dpov

I was taken off the case. I was taken of the freaking case! That bastard was going to keep seeing her, taking to her and I couldn't be there to protect her. Of course I hadn't been able to protect her a lot for more than a year but still. I also knew my protectiveness wasn't all of it; I wanted to know what happened to her, so that I could help her. She didn't want my help trough she had Mike. Mike, just his name made me shake with anger. While she wasn't talking to me, she was having private lessons with him. Several hours a day just the two of them. And if that wasn't bad enough, he knew. He had been there when she was help capture but he hadn't done anything! And now, now he was the one who she let close enough to comfort her.

I was so deep in my own thoughts I didn't notice where I was going when suddenly I heard a femine laugh.

"Stop I want to see!" I was confused, it sounded like it came from the court yard put it was 2 pm and everyone expect the guards should be asleep especially since the sun was shining bright. My curiosity got the best of me and I followed the sound. I wasn't exactly surprised when I turned around the corner. I knew I had heard that sound before but I still wasn't prepared for the sight that meet me. Rose was standing there in a pretty white dress looking angelic and Adrian was behind her holding his hands over her eyes.

"Not yet it will ruin the surprise!" He insisted and lead her a few more steps until they were standing at the furtain.

"Adrian it is the middle of the night whatever surprise you have prepared it got to be worth it!"

"It is don't worry." He removed one hand and reached for something in his pocket.

"Okay now you can look." He said removing both hands. She stood there for a moment looking around blinking against the strong light.

"We are in the court yard?" She asked him and I could hear the laugh in her voice. Had he really woken her up for that?

He held something out for her to take.

"Make a wish." She stood for a moment in thought before throwing in what turned out to be a coin into the fountain.

"I wish my days could be as bright and shiny as this night." She finally said. I reminded me of that time on the roof at the dinner, of how much she always missed the sun. I guess something never changes.

"You know they could be." Adrian said turning her around to face him. They stood close, too close for my likening.

"There is no rule saying that you have to live on vampire schedule." She laughed softly.

"Yeah but all my friends do so I would be all alone then.

"Not alone. You would have me." She looked up at him and laughed tough but I and he knew he had been serious.

"Don't be ridiculous Adrian!" He grabbed her hand and held it up.

"I am not!" He insisted.

"You are. You aren't made for sunshine Adrian, and you know that!"

"But I could, for you." She placed her hand on his face making my blood boil.

"And I wouldn't let you." Suddenly a splash of water hit her from the fountain.

"Did you just splash me?!" She exclaimed pulling back to whip water off. He nodded laughing stupidly.

"And here I thought you were a spirit user." She mocked. He steeped closer to her again and took her in his arms.

"I am, doesn't mean I can't use the other elements."

"Lissa did fairly well you know, with the other elements? I always though her element was going to be air." Her voice was distant like in a memory. Suddenly she pulled away and sank down on the edge of the fountain.

"Oh Adrian what am I going to do!" she exclaimed and he sat down quietly beside her.

"How did I get in this big mess." She mumbled and I felt my heart clenched.

"You didn't do anything wrong Rose." He said taking her in his arms.

"But I didn't do anything right either." She grumbled.

"I just want to go back." She cried.

"Want to go back where?" she sniffled.

"Back to high school, before all this mess happened, I just want to be a normal high school student again."

Oh how I wished I could make her wish come true. That I could take all this pain she had endured away from her. The pain I had caused.

"You know some say college is high school all over again." He said while stroking her hair. She sniffed.

"You know I can't go to college!"

"Why not?"

"Because! MY grades aren't good enough and I am a guardian!"

"I don't think they are going to put you back into service at the time being if ever and if then you could be my guardian, I am a royal." And in that moment I realized how much I hated Adrian Ivashkov. For being able to just fix things when I had tried so hard to and failed. He said it like it was obvious and it was but oh how I wish he hadn't.

**Rose and Adrian going back to college! Or are they? Who knows? Review and have influence!**


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